


tequila sunrise

by kleine_waldfee



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Feels, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Non-Linear Narrative, One-Sided Attraction, Parties, Rejection, all of us wlws know what its like, dont we?, guess who throws the party, idk how to rate this is teens and up bc of alcohol, it's jackson, surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 16:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20138314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleine_waldfee/pseuds/kleine_waldfee
Summary: Lisa was a goner, she didn't even remember what she had meant to say in the first place, so without thinking she continued, "You're beautiful tonight."





	tequila sunrise

Fuck, Lisa thought, dragging her feet against the rough concrete of the sidewalk. She was drunk. Not hammered anymore, but a slight buzz ran through her veins still, made her blood flow through them heavily. Enough to make her move just a little bit sluggishly. She was drunk and crying while she was walking to the nearest bus stop. 

Once she reached her destination, she dropped onto the wooden bench, breathed the midnight air in, held it inside as she attempted to suppress a sob. It did nothing, only made her choke on the noise once it refused to stay caged behind her teeth any longer. 

Belatedly, she realized that she hadn't brought tissues. Salty liquid left her artfully lined eyes and her perfectly contoured nose. A drunken giggle followed, involuntary and shocking in the thick silence of the night. She was waiting at a dark bus stop, bawling her eyes out, sniffling unattractively in the process, and it was bitterly hilarious. 

This, she thought. This is the type of shit that happens in every basic romantic novel or movie. The part where the main character experiences heartbreak, only for it all to turn out to be a giant misunderstanding. A happy ending consisting of blinding smiles, declarations of love and the promise of the future ensued. 

But Lisa knew this was no pre-written story, this was real and real life was hard in the sense that it didn't owe you a happy end. 

*

"Come on, let's get drinks!" Jennie exclaimed, right into Lisa's ear in order to be heard over the booming sounds of the speakers. 

Equally loud, Lisa shouted, "Good idea!"

Jennie led the way, fingers wrapping around Lisa's wrist in a loose circle. She didn't want to lose her and have to go searching for her friend in this sweaty, messy crowd of grinding bodies. Lisa knew that, but her breath hitched nonetheless as she obediently followed the other woman into the kitchen. 

There it was less crowded, less loud. Lisa's head buzzed in the sudden quiet. "Who did you say was throwing this party?" 

Turning around holding two cups in her hand, Jennie replied, "A guy called Jackson. I don't know him that well, but Rosé is a good friend of his, that's how we got invited."

"Ah," Lisa mumbled. "I've heard of him. His parties are supposed to be magical."

Jennie snorted as she screwed a bottle of white wine open, "What — do you think you'll find love, here, of all places?"

Lisa shrugged, accepting the cup Jennie handed her. "Who knows?"

Face split into a grin, Jennie shook her head lightly, as if she couldn't believe her best friend's words. "You're a hopeless romantic. I don't know how you've never had a boyfriend before. I know guys who would do nearly anything to be with a girl like you."

"I just —" Lisa started, licking her suddenly very dry lips as her eyes ate up the movement of Jennie lifting her cup to her own glossy mouth, taking a sip, "I'm waiting for the right one, I guess." 

Jennie blinked. The glitter on her eyelids caught the light, reflecting it, sparkling silver like liquid metal. "That's so cliché." When she saw the way Lisa grimaced she added, "In the adorable way."

Shrugging, Lisa also put her cup to her lips. The sweet taste of the wine made her head spin almost immediately. 

*

Lisa didn't look up when someone sat down on the other end of the bench, just kept looking at her hands, twisting and rubbing her fingers to distract herself. She didn't even try to hide the way her shoulders were shaking with each quiet sob. Fuck what some stranger might think of her. She was too drained to care.

She also didn't look up when a deep voice inquired, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," She choked out, struggling to form the single syllable. 

"Here," The voice called again, and Lisa almost jumped when a pack of tissues was shoved into her hands, quickly, because interacting with strangers was awkward, especially when they were crying their eyes out. "You can have all of them, you need them more than I do."

Finally, she looked up and met the dark orbs of the man sitting next to her. The streetlight close to the bus stop didn't do much to illuminate the stranger, features exaggerated and distorted by the shadows. She probably looked the same, she realized. Strangers lost to the night. At least she wouldn't have to feel awkward if she were to meet this person again. 

"Thank you," Lisa murmured, realizing that the tears had stopped falling. Her eyes were burning, they felt like dry sandpaper whenever she blinked. 

The man simply nodded curtly, staring straight ahead once again, leaving Lisa to blow her nose and wipe her face in silence until the bus pulled up. 

*

Jennie and her didn't do this a lot, going to parties and drinking. They were just here because Jennie was finally trying to come out of her shell again. _Three months is enough time_, she had explained after telling Lisa about her plans to spend the night out. _I'm over it, I don't wanna waste another thought on that fucking idiot._

Jennie's ex boyfriend had cheated on her. Lisa's heart had broken for Jennie when she told her, cheeks streaked with fresh tears. _Why did he do that? Am I not good enough? Am I — am I not enough?_

That night, Lisa had cried with her, because how could someone as amazing, as kind and gentle as Jennie think that? _You're good enough, better than good enough, Jennie, please don't let this mess with you. He's just an asshole! Do you hear me? This is not your fault, you don't deserve this._

Jennie had just cried harder in Lisa's embrace, trembling, tears seeping into the fabric covering Lisa's shoulder. Lisa had mumbled countless reassurances into Jennie's hair, until her cries turned into quiet sniffling. Jennie really didn't deserve any of this, nobody did, and once again Lisa wished she was allowed to tell Jennie just how special she was and to which lengths she would go to make her happy. 

But she couldn't, would never be able to, because she would never love Lisa back, not in that way. Not in the way Lisa needed. 

When Jennie whispered a string of _thank you, thank you_ and _you're always there when I need you_ Lisa cried for entirely different reasons. 

She snapped out of her thoughts when someone stumbled against her, almost making her spill her drink. Pouting, Lisa took a sip. It was a strong mix of vodka and orange juice. They had long moved on from the wine. Perhaps that's why she was feeling this emotional. It was harder to suppress deep affection when you're not sober.

*

Lisa spent quite some time on the bus, almost went to the last stop. When she got off, the cool air that brushed her bare legs made her shiver. She made her way through the streets of the city on unsteady, insecure legs, but the place she was walking towards, she was sure of. 

When she arrived, she immediately dropped down to sit on the ground. The grass felt slightly wet, so she tucked her legs close to her chest, letting her head rest on the knees. The sight was beautiful, the Han River glittering beneath the light of the stars and the moon. Its sounds were relaxing and had Lisa's tears not stopped flowing halfway throughout her bus ride, they would have started drying up now. 

She took a deep breath. The air around her smelled of hay. She was sure someone had mown the lawn she was sitting on earlier that day. In the distance, the lights of the city illuminated the skyline.

*

They were smashed. Lisa felt carefree as she moved her body to the rhythmic thumping of whatever song was currently playing. Jennie was grinning, obviously just as happy as Lisa, dancing close to the other girl. The room was getting more and more crowded, the many bodies pushing everyone together tighter, temperature rising due to the alcohol and the dancing. 

Jennie wrapped her arms around Lisa and Lisa rested her hands on the other woman's waist in return. They were laughing, grinning at each other, sound drowned out by the music. 

After a while, Jennie grabbed Lisa's hand and pulled her towards the kitchen yet again. Both of them had had enough to drink, but they were here, getting lost in a fantasy of neverending bliss, and they were planning on getting wasted. Letting loose had never felt better.

Lisa felt alive as Jennie poured her some drink — any drink, it didn't even matter at this point. The filigree rings adorning her fingers glinted teasingly. Lisa's heart beat unbelievably fast in her chest as Jennie's fingers brushed her own hand while she gave her the cup back. 

"Jennie, I —" The words died in her throat when Jennie looked up, dark gaze meeting hers and giving Lisa her undivided attention. 

"Yeah?" She asked, curiosity on her face, all round eyes and pouty lips.

Lisa was a goner, she didn't even remember what she had meant to say in the first place, so without thinking she continued, "You're beautiful tonight." 

Laughing, eyes twinkling in the dim light, Jennie replied, "Thanks, you too!"

Smiling faintly, Lisa shook her head, explaining, "No." The word came out rough, her throat suddenly felt dry. "No," She repeated, "That's not what I meant. You're always so beautiful. On the inside and on the outside, Jennie."

Getting shy, Jennie tucked some hair behind her ear, exposing one long, dangly earring. "Lisa, you're just the same." She sounded just slightly hesitant, unsure where this was going. 

"What I mean is," Lisa spoke, slowly, dragging the syllables out, "What I mean is that — Jennie, I love you." She was flying. Her mind was racing, as was her heart, her hands were cold, but she felt hot all over. There was no going back, she was confessing and she was so drunk she felt invincible. 

"Oh, Lisa," Jennie laughed and leaned in for a hug. Lisa wrapped her free arm around her friend loosely. "I know that! You're my best friend, I love you, too."

"Jennie," Lisa murmured. "That's not what I mean. I mean, fuck. I mean I'm _in love_ with you." 

Jennie continued laughing, as if Lisa had just told the world's funniest joke, and pulled back to check her friend's facial expression, to look for the playful glint in her eyes as she was pulling this elaborate prank on her. But she found nothing in Lisa's orbs except for complete honesty and vulnerability. Her laughter died, she choked out, "No, Lisa, you're — you've had too much to drink." Jennie reached out, took the red cup from Lisa's jittery hand and repeated, "You're absolutely wasted."

When Lisa didn't say anything, Jennie added, "Lisa, look at me, we — we're friends."

Lisa looked up at that, eyes appearing glassy while she tried to play the rejection off. "You're right, I should probably slow down on the drinks." She suddenly felt disillusioningly sober. "I'll go to the bathroom," She added quickly, leaving the room hurriedly. 

She ignored the way Jennie called her name just like she ignored the tightness in her ribcage. 

Jennie didn't follow her when she obviously didn't run into the direction of the bathrooms, instead rushing towards the front door. 

*

The scene replayed over and over in Lisa's mind as she sat there until she lost all sense of time and reality. What had she done? Was this how it was going to end? She had been friends with Jennie since kindergarten, but it hadn't been until high school that she developed non-platonic feelings for her. Was this going to be the end of their friendship? Had she ruined everything with her drunken confession?

She hoped they could work it out. That's what friends did when things got tough, right?They'd need some space, that was for sure. Lisa was aware that she'd never get over her infatuation if she stayed around Jennie. Jennie, on the other hand, would need the distance to come to terms with the fact that her best friend felt something for her she'd never be able to reciprocate. 

Lisa laid back and closed her eyes as she tried to calm her racing thoughts, completely ignoring the way the grass felt beneath her back. What's done is done, she couldn't turn back time and undo everything. Her confession had been long overdue, anyway. Her feelings would have torn her apart sooner or later. 

Like this, everything said and done, her secret out in the open, she could finally heal. Theoretically, she had always known Jennie would never feel the same, but there had always been a traitorous voice deep inside of her, asking _what if._ She guessed one could call it hope. 

When you had to take off a band-aid it was better to just rip it off instead of pulling it off at a glacial, painful pace. Lisa would suffer for a while, but she'd get over it eventually, she was sure of it. Everybody moved on from heartbreak, didn't they?

Who knows? She might just fall in love with someone new afterwards, finding a girl who would love Lisa back unconditionally. 

New tears formed in her eyes as she thought of finally letting Jennie go and moving on. God, she wasn't just in love with the girl, she was also her very best friend. How would she move on from this without her best friend by her side? 

Breathe, she instructed herself. She told herself that she had other friends she could rely on, that she could even ask her family to get her through this. It would all be okay. She would be okay. She just had to believe in it and wait for time to heal her wounds. 

When Lisa opened her eyes again, the sky was coloured red, blue and yellow. Nothing lasts forever, she thought as another set of tears fell from her tired eyes. Not the night, not this pain. 

In the end, the sun always rose again.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this please leave kudos and a comment! i'd appreciate it <3


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